Invisible Grief- The Loss of a Companion

When you lose your best friend.

 

Doggie Angel

You sit, curled up on the couch with a light read and a cup of smoking joe. As you sip slowly, you decide your home is missing something. A new vase? No, you have so many of those that you decided to stick some in storage. Maybe a new partner, nope you like your alone time and to hear your own thoughts. Then what could it be?

You go to work, walk in the office and boom it hits you.  You never noticed it before but there is a wall of pictures, not any pictures… dog pictures. As you slowly gravitate toward the wall you wonder how long has it been there, and why in the hell haven’t you noticed it before?

Dog and owner hugging

Some of the pictures are small others are huge. Some dogs have Christmas hats and rain jackets on, you notice some of your co-workers smiling in the photo, which is ironic because some of them you have never seen smile at work. It’s gotta be the dogs, making them this happy. You decide, that’s it I want to smile like them, I want some of that doggie magic!

Okay, I realize that’s a bit cheesy. The beginning of the journey with your furry companion may have played out a bit differently. Maybe a thunderstorm, and the furry little guy running in front of your car with you having to swerve on to the curve to keep from hitting them. There is a possibility that it could have been a subtle situation with them coming into your life as a gift from a loved one.

However, your journey with your furry family member began and  you hold the memory  close to your heart. Time passes and you share Christmas, birthday’s and they become the background to your foreground. Without realizing it, they are always there while you cook sitting by the hot stove patiently waiting for that little piece of anything to drop. Barking at all intruders (who are usually only family). Hogging an entire side of the bed, leaving fur all over your comforter after the winter season. Going out of the way to teach you how to love by forcing you to trade in your hectic schedule for a simple walk in the park.

Then just like that, they are gone. The time flooding past you quicker then you ever would have imagined. So what now?

dog-funeral-2

Do you try to feel the space with a new companion? Take up a hobby? How do you numb the pain?

As you walk around the house that is just a little too quiet, you decide to go for a walk.

Wait that’s what you and your companion used to do. The tears begin to fall, and they don’t stop.

Smearing away the tears with a soggy kleenex your neighbor stops by to borrow your lawn mower. Perfect timing. You find yourself explaining your tears, with dull eyes they say “sorry” and walk away. You know they think it’s silly to cry over a dog.

As the days slowly roll on , you realize the sun just doesn’t shine the same. You begin to question if you are normal for grieving your furry companion this long.

I am here to tell you, yes you are normal. If you didn’t feel this way I would begin to think you weren’t human.

These little guys are so much more then pets, and when they die it leaves a blank space in our head and hearts. So, this post is for those who have lost a little guy or girl recently or a while ago.

Crying over the pooch

Cry!

Cry hard. Cry soft. Cry in waves or in blankets. Get it out, it is normal and it’s necessary. The love for your companion goes hand in hand with the grief you will feel.

Go Down Memory Lane

Remember the good and the bad. The times they made you laugh and the times they pissed you off (which will usually make you laugh anyway). Go to the places you used to go to together. This may make you feel closer to them, just because they are no longer with you doesn’t mean you can’t visit places that brought you joy.

Talk About Them with other pet loversBaby with dog

Make sure it’s someone who understands, there is nothing worst then talking to someone who has a misconception of pet lovers. Talk about it. What happened? Did they die of old age? Did they get lost. How do you feel now? It’s important to discuss how you feel with someone you trust to gain a greater perspective.

Let Go

Only when you’re ready. This does not mean you must let go of loving them or their memory, it only means time moves forward and so do you. Get another companion when you are ready (you will know when you are ready). Remember they will not replace your loved one, but may bring a new joy to you.

Greif pic

It is never easy to lose anyone we love we can’t change losing them, only make the best while we have them.

This post is dedicated to Ms. Butterfly and her loving owner Rachel Mankowitz of  The Cricket Pages and all the furry companions that were lost this year. May you forever rest in peace.

Butterfly

Written By Life Writez

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We Got the Beat!

dog music

If you follow this blog faithfully, you have become very familiar with two things specifically. One is that I don’t always post every Wednesday (but when I do its good stuff) the other is that I believe dogs (Chihuahuas especially) have their own personalities, and speak their own language.

FIRST THINGS FIRST…

Call me crazy but to me it makes no sense that such a variety of dogs could all have the same exact personality or needs. It kills me when my non-dog lover friends make generalized comments such as

“Can’t you just feed the dog scraps…it’s a dog”

“Why did you get “it” a heating pad? It’s a dog”

“Why did you buy clothes?” …it’s a dog”

Alright, I get it, I get it! You have confirmed it’s a dog. It has four legs, with fur and pants when hot.  As a dog-lover I would like to respond for all the other dog lovers. They are OUR dogs! OUR dogs and guess what non-dog lovers.

THEY ARE SO MUCH MORE THAN DOGS TO US!

MOVING RIGHT ALONG…

Okay now that the rant is over, and I cleared up what has been wanting to be said since the first paw/hand shake. Shall we move along.

I am a massively obsessive music lover, give me a stream of smooth Jazz and I am completely satisfied. The type of music I listen to for a day depends heavily on my emotions. Monday can bring on a lengthy marathon of Aerosmith, where a Wednesday can be some slow sultry ballads from Sade.

Dancing Chi.gif

The day I noticed the Chihuahuas enjoyed the same type of music I did was a comfortably warm and sunny Friday. I began the day with popular hits from Prince. While Raspberry Beret thundered out of the speakers and I imagined I was Lisa & Wendy rocking out with the late Prince. I sashed around the house singing at the top of my lungs and noticed little Chi-Chi eyes following me.

MUSIC IS LIFE…

As I put the bottle of body spray I was singing into on the coffee table, I observed the slow wag of tails, and expression of slight amusement.  I quickly turned down the music and asked the idiotic question “you guys like Prince huh?” Of course, they do! Doesn’t everyone? I decided to try some Tupac, nothing heavy just a little Keep Your Head Up kind of Tupac. The tails continued to wag.

The music binge began, I played everything from Metallica to NWA and guess what? Some songs received several wags others a howl, and the worst no response at all. Most of the songs they didn’t like neither did I. I ended the musical binge sitting on the floor by the stereo while Imagine by John Lennon flowed through the air. I think that it’s their favorite, can you blame them?

Thank you for taking the time to read Chi-Chi talks, swapping stories is welcome here in the comment section below.