Invisible Grief- The Loss of a Companion

When you lose your best friend.

 

Doggie Angel

You sit, curled up on the couch with a light read and a cup of smoking joe. As you sip slowly, you decide your home is missing something. A new vase? No, you have so many of those that you decided to stick some in storage. Maybe a new partner, nope you like your alone time and to hear your own thoughts. Then what could it be?

You go to work, walk in the office and boom it hits you.  You never noticed it before but there is a wall of pictures, not any pictures… dog pictures. As you slowly gravitate toward the wall you wonder how long has it been there, and why in the hell haven’t you noticed it before?

Dog and owner hugging

Some of the pictures are small others are huge. Some dogs have Christmas hats and rain jackets on, you notice some of your co-workers smiling in the photo, which is ironic because some of them you have never seen smile at work. It’s gotta be the dogs, making them this happy. You decide, that’s it I want to smile like them, I want some of that doggie magic!

Okay, I realize that’s a bit cheesy. The beginning of the journey with your furry companion may have played out a bit differently. Maybe a thunderstorm, and the furry little guy running in front of your car with you having to swerve on to the curve to keep from hitting them. There is a possibility that it could have been a subtle situation with them coming into your life as a gift from a loved one.

However, your journey with your furry family member began and  you hold the memory  close to your heart. Time passes and you share Christmas, birthday’s and they become the background to your foreground. Without realizing it, they are always there while you cook sitting by the hot stove patiently waiting for that little piece of anything to drop. Barking at all intruders (who are usually only family). Hogging an entire side of the bed, leaving fur all over your comforter after the winter season. Going out of the way to teach you how to love by forcing you to trade in your hectic schedule for a simple walk in the park.

Then just like that, they are gone. The time flooding past you quicker then you ever would have imagined. So what now?

dog-funeral-2

Do you try to feel the space with a new companion? Take up a hobby? How do you numb the pain?

As you walk around the house that is just a little too quiet, you decide to go for a walk.

Wait that’s what you and your companion used to do. The tears begin to fall, and they don’t stop.

Smearing away the tears with a soggy kleenex your neighbor stops by to borrow your lawn mower. Perfect timing. You find yourself explaining your tears, with dull eyes they say “sorry” and walk away. You know they think it’s silly to cry over a dog.

As the days slowly roll on , you realize the sun just doesn’t shine the same. You begin to question if you are normal for grieving your furry companion this long.

I am here to tell you, yes you are normal. If you didn’t feel this way I would begin to think you weren’t human.

These little guys are so much more then pets, and when they die it leaves a blank space in our head and hearts. So, this post is for those who have lost a little guy or girl recently or a while ago.

Crying over the pooch

Cry!

Cry hard. Cry soft. Cry in waves or in blankets. Get it out, it is normal and it’s necessary. The love for your companion goes hand in hand with the grief you will feel.

Go Down Memory Lane

Remember the good and the bad. The times they made you laugh and the times they pissed you off (which will usually make you laugh anyway). Go to the places you used to go to together. This may make you feel closer to them, just because they are no longer with you doesn’t mean you can’t visit places that brought you joy.

Talk About Them with other pet loversBaby with dog

Make sure it’s someone who understands, there is nothing worst then talking to someone who has a misconception of pet lovers. Talk about it. What happened? Did they die of old age? Did they get lost. How do you feel now? It’s important to discuss how you feel with someone you trust to gain a greater perspective.

Let Go

Only when you’re ready. This does not mean you must let go of loving them or their memory, it only means time moves forward and so do you. Get another companion when you are ready (you will know when you are ready). Remember they will not replace your loved one, but may bring a new joy to you.

Greif pic

It is never easy to lose anyone we love we can’t change losing them, only make the best while we have them.

This post is dedicated to Ms. Butterfly and her loving owner Rachel Mankowitz of  The Cricket Pages and all the furry companions that were lost this year. May you forever rest in peace.

Butterfly

Written By Life Writez

Thank you for taking the time to read Chi- Chi talks, follow, comment and share. 

Aye! Aye! Sisters!

Give it up for the sisters!

Frenchie Puppy Pile

I am sitting in the yard watching the dogs.

It’s a cloudy day but they don’t seem to notice at all. They run carefree sniffing the ground and one another. I sink into the lawn chair going over the long day ahead of me when I noticed the sister Frenchie bulldogs had separated away from the chihuahuas and were jumping and playing with one another in their own little world. This wasn’t the first time I watched these two. They will go about running and playing with each other until they fall into a heap of puppy pile adorableness (is that a word…probably…I’ll use it anyway).

I begin to think how wonderful is it to have a sister in a doggy dog world?

Golden

Having someone you can laugh with and confide in even on cloudy days. I believe that they are one of the many wonderful gifts this life must offer.

So, what exactly is a sister? I asked google assistant. Google gave me a rather matter of fact definition referring to lineage and daughters of parents…well something to that degree. Seems a bit too simple and shallow to me.

Sister 1

I decided to ask the Frenchie sisters instead (yes, my lovely pet-lover reader I asked them) they gave me a sniff and continued with their Frenchie business. The thing that I love about my furry little guys is that they don’t say one word, but they show you a mouth full.

Watching those two in their tiny puppy pile a few definitions popped into my head of what a sister means to me.

They are your please don’t judge me because what I am going to tell you is going to make you fall out of your chair person. They are your let me borrow this outfit one last time person. They are the reason you made that dumb decision to dye your hair that outrageous color, then it became the conversation starter with the person who later became the love of your life.

If there was no sisterhood, who and the hell would we fight with?

Oh yes! I have witnessed the most adorable sister Frenchie fights! Pulling of ears and paws. Some of the most creative and brutal arguments on this green earth have been between sisters.  Telling them we would never talk to them again, then finding ourselves bored and lonely without them leading us to send the famous wyd? text message.

Let’s Have a KI KI

Kiki

Some sisters have no blood relations, and these sisterly bonds can be the greatest. Lunch and wine in the middle of the day for no reason to discuss the latest gossip or just to get away from the responsibilities of life. The occasional “kiki” at two in the morning, after a break up or a break down at the bar with that special someone. Find out what a “kiki” is click  here just in case you don’t know…Great song check out the version by the Scissor Sisters they did it best.

strong-women-lift-each-other-up

 Getting back to the point. I have had the opportunity to meet some of the most extraordinary women after losing my biological sister some time ago. Within the pain of that loss I grew more appreciative of sisterhood, and begin to hold relationships more dearly. I now have several sisters that I call on, from all different races and walks of life. We hold each other’s secrets, joy’s and dreams. We encourage one another when we fail and feel discouraged. One of us always knows how to whip the other back into to shape by a sassy flash of the eyes and simple phrases like “get it together” or “you must be kidding”.

Cute Chi

Sitting here in this chair on a cloudy day, staring down at the tiny pile of Frenchie sisters.

I am proud to be a woman, I am proud to be a sister.

By Life Writez

This is dedicated to my beautiful sister Nesanet may you rest in peace & all my bold in control sisters of the world.

Thank you for taking the time to read Chi- Chi talks, feel free to share special times with your sisters. All comments and questions are welcome.